Unit 02 - Self-introduction letter to a professor via email (4.2)

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 Subject: Self-introduction To Whom It May Concern, 

My name is Steve Jonas, and I am writing to introduce myself to you as a student in your communication class. Having graduated from the poly with a Diploma in Civil Engineering, my work was in the robotics sector for four years and I eventually made the decision to further my studies in the Engineering Programme offered by SIT. 

My goal for studying in this Programme is to develop my Technical Knowledge, cultivate professional contacts and improve on my communication skills. Hoping to refine my technical writing skills and practice giving presentations, this module will be important for me. My short-term career aim is to become a certified professional engineer. My long- term one is to be involved in and ultimately oversee high impact projects, both local and international. 

In terms of weakness in Communication, I still have difficulty expressing myself confidently in report writing. English Language Grammar really does not pose such a problem for me, but developing my ideas in a long, sustained report give me headaches because I feel challenged at times in knowing what information to include and what not to include. 

As far as a Communication strength, I can say that is my ability to interact with others on a professional level, and it has been refined through my recent work experience. In the workplace, I had to converse regularly in small group meetings with technicians of various backgrounds as well as with site engineers and even middle and senior management. This allows me to witness first-hand the importance of effective Oral Communication. And practice what I saw modelled by my superiors. 

Believing that utilizing soft skills in my daily interactions will enable me to become a better person, I look forward to learning more about Effective Communication and Critical Thinking from you in the coming classes. 

Best regards, 

Steve Jonas

Evaluation of the Email:

Strengths:

  1. Clarity of Content (Frag, SVA):

    • The email is clear and conveys the key points effectively: introduction, goals, strengths, and weaknesses.

  2. Sentence Structure (WF, SVA):

    • The sentences are generally well-constructed and grammatical.

  3. Organization:

    • The email has a logical structure, with an introduction, explanation of goals, strengths, weaknesses, and a conclusion.

  4. Polite Tone:

    • The tone is polite and professional throughout.

Areas for Improvement:

  1. Punctuation (RO & CS):

    • The sentence "And practice what I saw modelled by my superiors" is a fragment.

    • Suggested Revision: Combine with the previous sentence: "...and practice what I saw modeled by my superiors."

  2. Word Form (WF):

    • In the sentence "...developing my ideas in a long, sustained report give me headaches," the verb "give" should be corrected for agreement with the singular subject.

    • Suggested Revision: "...developing my ideas in a long, sustained report gives me headaches."

  3. Unnecessary Capitalization:

    • Words such as "Technical Knowledge," "Engineering Programme," "English Language Grammar," and "Effective Communication" are unnecessarily capitalized.

    • Suggested Revision: Use lowercase unless these are official terms (e.g., technical knowledge, engineering programme, etc.).

  4. Noun:

    • Lack of plural noun for goal in the sentence “My goal for studying in this Programme is to develop my Technical Knowledge, cultivate professional contacts and improve on my communication skills.”

    • Suggested Revision: “ My goals for studying in this Programme are to develop my Technical Knowledge, cultivate professional contacts and improve on my communication skills.”

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